Not Having It Anymore, Im Fucking Biting Back

I'm Not Taking It Anymore You Wanna Fucking Have A Go At Me, FUCKING BRING IT ON!!.
I'm Sick Of The Bullshit, GOD YOU CAN SEND AS MANY DICKHEADS AS YOU WANT TO FUCK MY LIFE UP, BUT GUESS WHAT, I'M FUCKING FIGHTING BACK NOW!!. Don't Expect Me To Sit Here And Take It Anymore, I WILL NOT BE YOUR PERSONAL JOKE ANYMORE!!, Ill Be Fucking Damned If I'm Genna Let Any Other Guy Fucking Screw me Over, So Come On "God", Fucking Send Them My Way, Watch Me Send Them Back Fucking Crying, I'm Fucking Done With It All, No More, Ive Got Enough Troubles To Worry About, So You Know What, Fuck Being The "Fallen Angel", Meet The "Bitch From Hell" And She Bites Back, BITCHES!!. This Bitch Will Bite Back From Now On So Don't Fucking Mess With Her, And YES I Am Serious, Im Sick To Fucking Death, Of Being "Gods" Personal Joke Ive had To Fucking Deal With Soooooo Much Bullshit, And I Have Had ENOUGH!! Im Sick Of The Dickheads And The Cunts, Who Fucking Mess With My Head, Well I Say No More I Have Just Had Enough.

Look, I Know Some Of You May Think Im Just Some Messed Up Teenager Who Swears ALOT, But Please All I Ask Is That You Look At Everything I Write About, Through My Eyes Try And Feel The Pain I Feel As Im Writing About It, I Do So Much For Others Thier Pain Becomes My Own I Take So Much To Heart, People Just Dont Know What To Do With Me, Ive Been Sent To A Counsilor, Ive Spoken To Some Friends About It, Ive Even Said Some Prayers To "God" But Many Don't Know What They Can Do To Help Me, Many Just Think Talking It Out Helps But It Just Doesn't, I Know I May Have Said It Helped To You, If I Spoke To You About It, But Im Sorry It Just Doesn't You Gotta Realise Something, Talking About It, Makes Me Feel Helpless, Like I Cant Do Anything To Help Myself, Like Im Some Pathetic Personal Joke To God. I Dont Wanna Feel Like This, And No Just Cos I Wrote This Doesnt Mean Ive Reverted Back To Depressed Me, Im Still Genna Be The Old Me That Everyone Misses Cos THAT Me Is Who I Wanna Be, So You Know What This Whole Blog Is About Announcing My Frustration Making It Heard, Im Not Having It Anymore Im Genna Fucking Fight Back Now.

So As Many Nicknames Say On Msn:

THE BITCH IS BACK!!

Anyways Im Done, Im Sorry If Any Of You Get Offended By The Quotation Marks Around "Gods" Name, But Right Now, I Feel As Though There Is No "God."

Comment, But No Haters.

Peace. xx

Its Me - old me non depressed me

IM BACK!!! Old me is finally back, no more depression, or bad thoughts or cutting or anything, I dont know what happend, or how i did it, but its done im finally back to feeling like myself, the weight of the world, its been lifted well at least shared, now i dont have the need to scream, or being angry or depressed, i just feel like regular old me, the me i used to be before it all began, all the dating and cutting and depressing thoughts, its just ME!!.

As if things couldnt get any better, im smiling!!
im actually smiling again, and my eyes are wide open, to everything ive been missing, i dont know what i did, or what someone else did, but im happy im actualy happy again, its amazing this feeling is just, just ME!! hahaha its amazing to be able to say that again, its just ME!! haha i love it this feeling is amazing.

I cant believe it, this feeling is just indescribable, just amazing doesnt even cover it, i feel like me, back before all this bullshit dating, and all the depression, the cutting, the emo thoughts, the deep blogging issues, i just feel like me, the lil badass bitch, who would do anything for a bit of fun, no matter how much trouble came later, it was about the fun, the laughs, the entertainment, being a KID!, ive got it back, and im NOT losing it again.

OMG IM BACK!!!

anyways im done, peace, tc, comment but no haters.

peace. xx

um idk ill label it later

now playing - we made you - eminem

ok well what to write, life as we know it is fine it shall continue to grow and prosper (i think they mean the same thing but oh well) life will continue even if i made that mistake. Yes life will continue sadly leaving me behind, trapped, trapped like a mouse things go well for a while and i try to keep my mind clear and focused on happy thoughts. Till something happens, like offending my "brother" christian did not mean to do it but i was worried bout him.

now playing - please dont leave me - pink

I did not mean to offend him but the thought of losing someone i love to alcohol or drugs is just to hard to bare, the thought of losing him for a second time is something i dont want to think bout, cos as far as im concerend even though we arent related hes always genna be my big brother.

now playing - circus - britney spears

My frustration tonight is making me push away the ones i have become close to, i do not know why but everything has made me angry or moody i feel as though gaps are tearing me apart from those i hold close. I do not want this to happen but it is, it hurts me i wish to just lay down and die but no. No such luck i must live this torture they call life, it has many pains and horrors but the few in my life that have not been pushed away make it bearable.

now playing - breakeven - the script

Things are falling apart between me and him our arguements growing ever so mean and spiteful (i know my language on this isnt what it used to be) i wish i could take it all back the harsh words the stupid questions, and maybe even meeting him. His life may have been better without me, i guess we will never know now. As for his friend well his friend shall be rid of me soon if all goes to plan.

now playing - so what - pink

I am trying and hoping that i can hold on to those i love but no use, the more i try the more i fail therefore i should just give up maybe the ones i care for will just come back one day. If they truely were supposed to be with me they will come back into my life.



Im done

comment, no haters.

peace.xx

Stand Up For Him

A girl went to her friends house and she ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was asmall COMMUNITY and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the bike trail Diane asked,'God to keep her safe from harm and danger'.When she reached the alley, which was a shortcut to her house,she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley shenoticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for 'God's protection'.Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and securitywrapped around her,she felt as though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley, she walkedright past the man and arrived home safely.T he following day, she read in the newspaper thata young girl had been raped,in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the factthat it could have been her, she began to weep.Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman,she decided to go to the police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story.The police asked her if she would be willing to look ata lineup to see if she could identify him.She agreed and immediately pointed out the manshe had seen in the alley the night before.

When the man was told he had been identified,he immediately broke down and confessed.The officer thanked Diane for her bravery andasked if there was anything they could do for her.She asked if they would ask the man one question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her.When the policeman asked him, he answered,'Because she wasn't alone'.She had two tall men walking on either side of her.'

Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're not alone.(people) will not stand up for 'God'.......PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what'If you deny me in front of your friends,I shall deny you in front of my Father

''STAND UP FOR HIM''93% of people wont pass this on.... Will you be one of them???

Molestation

Even if it's just the tiniest part of it, it still leaves the person (victim) feeling like trash and nothing i repeat nothing can take that feeling away. In time i guess you learn to accept it but the only thing that doesnt make sense is the fact that the molester will almost never remember what hes done it pains me to say but i too have been molested it wasnt a full molestation but even being touched by someone you dont know and trust is a horrible feeling. It has left me feeling trashy and disgusting i feel unlike myself and sadly i have my molester to thank. There are ways to protect yourself yes, but in a real life situation they dont always help, i mean ive been doing karate for nearly 6 months now and even though its doesnt seem like much it was enough to show me how to protect myself. I guess i have part of myself to blame as i should have moved the minute he sat next to me i had a bad feeling about him butfor some strange reason i ignored my gut feeling and let it go sadly if i had just moved away and listened to that feeling i would have avoided that disaster all together. So i must say yes "It's My Fault" and i do take full responsibility for being in the wrong place at the wrong time but it is also my molesters fault as he obviously needs help i just wish that he could remember what he did this way he'd always have that bit of guilt if he could some how just remember that he had done that and screwed up someones life i would sleep better at night. I now understand why we children are told to be careful on the street and to not talk to strangers it's for our protection and our safety i just wish that i had been smart enough to wait inside my little sisters school instead of being the fool i was and waiting outside in an unsafe environment. Each night it does get better but i also feel like i will never be the same inside and i will always keep that image of his face in my head with those brown drug addicted eyes and that black rough looking hair and that horrible looking glare. I pray to god each night that this man shall have eternal damnation on his soul as i know mine shall never be the same.

Anyways im done

comment but no haters

and if something like this has happend to you

Please PLEASE contact me on x._liveloveburndie@hotmail.com

id love to talk to you as im sure i feel your pain

Peace xx

Please note: im crying while i type this so it may not make sense

Now listening to - Wes Carr - Feels Like Whoa

How do you cope when your sister of four years walks out of your life
today was her final day and i tried so hard not to cry so she wouldnt
of course i failed heck i even broke down crying during class thank god
i was sitting under the air conditioner i used that and the fact that i was
"sick" as an excuse for having red eyes and a runny nose. Shes walking
out of not just my life but our whole groups life of course she will still be
considered as part of the group but its not the same as having her there
it hurts so much and monday shall be worse as that will be the day the
day it all becomes real.

Now listening to - Maroon 5 Wake Up Call - EWW - dumb mtv

why is it the ones we love the most must leave why is it they must walk
out of your life why cant it be your enemies who leave you instead of the
ones you love it always has to be the ones you keep close to you heart
that leaves its just heartbreaking and saddening i guess you just have to
accept it and hope one day your lives will cross paths again of course what
if you dont want to accept it what then..?

Now listening to -Veronicas - Untouched

Why does god torture us so why must he send the ones we love away like
seriously it is preposterous why must we suffer just because the person
we loves parents must go just for work why cant they find work here where
they already live its just unbearable to rip to friends or "sisters" if you will
apart why must she go dont her parents see how heartbreaking it is for her
and for her friends..?

Now listening to - empire of the sun - walking on a dream

life is the worst and sometimes i think bout just giving up and letting it win
its not like anyone can stop me and now that my "sister" is going/gone how
am i supposed to smile again ive known her for FOUR YEARS dsnt tht mean
anything to her parents srsly why make her suffer by moving her then having
her have to go to a new school and make new friends just so they can have a job
why cant they get a job here its not that hard i mean COME ON PPL..?

Now listening to - empire of the sun - we are the people

anyways i have had enough of blogging i will probably write later but idk depends
if i can handle it write now so much shit has just overpowered my emotions and
without emotions i cannot write so ill write later MAYBE

but for now bye bye

Now listening to - T.I / Justin Timberlake - Dead and Gone

P.S this song FUCKING RULESSS!!!

Gouri

Gouri we are genna miss you so much bubba
all the fun times we have had these few years
its been the best. Getting in trouble and getting
out of it hahahaha best years ever please dont
cry when you read this just simply remember
all the good times we have all had together hahaha
like all the parties our group throws for each other
we cant really imagine you not at old C.M especially
when we graduate not having you there yr 10 and
yr 12 proms are genna be so horrible without you
there to make it fun we are all genna miss you so
much especially your insecent ramblings about
harry potter and edward cullen.
Bub we hate to see you go as you will be greatly
GREATLY missed by alot of people i know its genna
be hard on alot of people especially since everyone in
history elective relies on you to answer the questions
we dont know hahahaha we really wish you didnt have
to go but alas we know you dont have a choice maybe
all our paths will cross again one day we will miss you

Love

-Lexi
-Alison
-Rachel
-Kate
-Shivi
-Danni
-Kat
-Mono
-Berlina
-Mitchell
-Sadie
-Diana
-Nithua
-Rosie
-Rita
-Renee
-Christal
-Akushla

And so many more of us

WE LOVE YOU !!!